Max Payne: Payne and Sorrow
by DevouringSickness
Summary: After the 2nd game ends. Max is found and taken to the hospital, and is reunited with an unexpected guest. Depression and heartbreak ensues. Finished.
1. Prologue

**Max Payne: Payne and Sorrow**

**Max Payne - Prologue: The Payne I've Caused...**

"God...I turned out to be such a damsel in distress..." These were the last words she had ever said to me.

The bullet in her head had completed it's slow-motion journey through her synapses. I felt my chest cave in on my lungs as her final breath escaped her lips. The woman that I had fallen in love with, the woman that showed me that I had a choice. That I could put the gun down, that I didn't have to pull the trigger. She was gone, now. Falling silent to a bed of smoldering ashes, her pulse had faded. Placing my lips to hers, feeling the empty darkness of her body flowing through me. It was a feeling all too familiar.

As I placed my lips against hers, I had a vision of all bad and good that had happened since we've met. It all started with the death of my wife and baby daughter. My apathy for the death of others had become infinite after they were killed. The Cleaners, Vinnie Gognitti, Mike, Kaufman, Alfred Woden, Winterson, Vlad...

Vlad had been Mona's assailant, the one who start all of this, helped in destroying my life, and become so very close to succeeding. When he had pulled the trigger, ending her life once and for all, the bullet in my own head moved a fatal, microscopic distance. The bullet had felt as though it transformed into a bomb, on the verge of exploding. Vlad had been the detenator. Vlad had been my friend, but betrayed me with greed and dealing me inconceivable pain. When I had finally ended Vlad, I felt self-righteous. Justice, revenge, the law, I didn't care what it may have seemed like or rather, what people may have perceived it as to why I did it. When I saw him fall through the roof, hitting the ground, molotov's betraying him, burning his soon to be rotting corpse...I smiled. It was the first time, in years, that I had smiled.

The visions I had received from Mona, after kissing the black hole in her mouth, helped me to see. I saw that I could put the gun down, that I could change my life, that I was never alone in any of this. As I parted my lips from hers, I gaped at her in awe, my hand rubbing her cheek. She was beautiful. A tear streamed down my cheek, the first time I had cried or even shed a tear since my family had been murdered. I looked into her lifeless blue eyes, and I could see through them as if they were open doors to my own future. In this act of seeing, I knew everything would be alright. In this act of seeing, I was reborn.


	2. Dreams of Nightmares

Max Payne- Chapter 1: Dreams of Nightmares

The sirens began to silence in my mind, as my thoughts singled out while I stared at Mona. The police came through the front doors, soon after Mona left me alone.

"On 3! 1, 2, 3!", One of the officers had said as they broke through the doors. They had immediately noticed all of the dead Cleaners that were scattered about the floor before them.

"Jesus! What the hell happened here!"

"Oh my god...they're all dead...", The other officer gaped in horror, not believing the image before his eyes. The policemen began flooding into Alfred Woden's manor, a once beautiful and articulately decorated home, now polluted with blood, bodies, and bullets. Which, in my honest opinion, had never been a good combination. A bright light suddenly shone on my face, I looked up quickly, a smile still on my face.

"We've got a live one here!", The first officer said loudly to the others that were searching elsewhere. He looked at me with strained eyes, then realized who I was.

"D-Detective Payne? Oh my god. Guys! Payne's Alive! He's alive! Call a paramedic!" He approached me quickly, bending down on his knees, now staring at my rather disbelievingly.

"Detective Payne...how are you alive?" I looked up at him and chuckled lightly.

"I'm just too stubborn to die, I guess." The bullet in my brain moved further, the pain made me pass out instantly. The last thing I hard was, "Medic! Help! Payne's out...Hold on!..."

In my dream, Mona and Michelle were both still alive and well, to say the least. I was chained to a wall, they were both tied up in cheap aluminum chairs. A man stood behind them, wearing a white suit. It was Vlad, or as Vinnie had grown to call him 'The Russian'.

He said to me, "Max, dearest of all my friends, today, I have given you a choice... This will be how you repay me for disservicing my lady. You must choose: Your lovely wife, or the killer bitch." I knew that in real life that this was an impossible choice. Maybe that's why my response surprised me.

"Choose, Max. The clock is ticking"

A Kalishnikov AK-47 had suddenly appeared in his rigid grasp. I hesitated, giving him ample opportunity to taunt me.

"Well then, I'll have to choose for you. Say goodbye to Miss Sax, Max!"

I screamed for him to stop, I didn't want him to kill her. I told him to kill Michelle, to everyone's surprise...he happily obliged. I looked away as he did, not able to watch him destroy my wife. He untied Mona, and my chains unlocked as he did so. She ran to my arms crying, almost hysterical. A mix of happiness and shock, I'm sure. I held her tightly until I saw Vlad hold up the Kalishnikov. He smirked as Mona turned around.

"Sorry, Max...there are NO happy endings."

As he pulled the trigger, I jumped in front her, taking the bullet to the head. I was dead, but I could still hear her screams...

"MAX! Max, no...MAX!"

I woke up to someone whispering my name, the officer that had helped me back at Woden's Manor. Officer Holloway, I remember his name was.

"Detective Payne, that must have been one hell of a dream!" My eyes rolled over into his direction, and I told him my dream. Though, I'm certain that he really didn't care about it.

"I had a dream of my wife...she's dead...but-but it's alright."

We arrived at the hospital, I expected after I had recovered, I would be up for questioning by the police. There wasn't much to say for the one question I knew they were going to ask. The paramedics had not given me painkillers to deal with the pain. Though I probably did deserve this pain, it would have been nice to have a few. I figured there would be some in my trench coat beside my hospital bed...no such luck.

Before my search continued any further, I looked around my room, only to notice that I was sharing it with another patient. Normally, I wouldn't have bothered to check who was sharing the room, but the almost lifeless body's snores and noises sounded similar to someone I knew...so familiar. I couldn't help but get out of bed, the plasma bags and other medical objects still attached. I almost was taken aback when I realized who it was exactly: Jim Bravura. It was almost disbelieving that he was alive, until I remembered earlier that night, I saw on one of the hospital monitors that he was alive and...not so well. Alive is as good as it gets after being shot a dozen times in the chest.

I almost felt bad for him, that is, until I remembered being shot in the head, among other things. After being shot in the head, there isn't much that impresses you as far as injuries go. I could feel the anesthetics that I had been given earlier finally kick in. I went and lay down in my hospital bed, my eyes closing once more.

I hated to sleep. I never had any dreams, only nightmares. Even if I were to have dreams, it would always end in some morbid or disdainful way. Sleep wasn't welcome in my mind, but my body overpowers the want to stay awake with the need to sleep. My nightmares only showed me the things I had already known. I didn't need them, they were just annoyances, constant reminders of the broken mirror that is my life.

I had a break tonight, the first time I slept without any problems..a dreamless sleep. It was wonderful. A dreamless sleep is a welcomed thing to someone who's mind is infested with death, destruction, and loss. I was tired of sleeping. How ironic. But my mind wasn't lucid enough to reboot on it's own, I need a hand. And, of course, right on cue, a hand was placed on my should. It began shaking me.

I opened my eyes, the world blurry still, not yet able to adjust to the light. The figure, a gray blur, had that of an angel's voice, one that sounded oddly familiar. The words coming out of the woman's mouth made little sense, but slowly began to have meaning. The words soon became clear...

"Max, sweetheart, it's time to wake up." The angelic voice said. I realized that it was my wife's voice. I knew to be impossible. She spoke again.

"Max, darling, please wake up." My eye twitched, the world becoming clear. It was my wife. She was smiling, she always did have such a beautiful smile. I sat up and saw that I was no longer in the hospital but in my old home. 'Hallucinating', I began thinking to myself, 'I must have a fever...' My wife placed her hand on my cheek and she spoke once more.

"You're a real angel, Max." My eyes grew wide, the room began to shift, to change back into it's clothing of reality. My wife disappeared, and I was back in my hospital bed. I had placed my fingers to my temples, only to hear the voice again.

"Welcome back to reality, the fever must've broken."

I looked up, pinching myself, she was real. My lips moved but nothing came out, my throat going dry. The words then began to flow through my mouth.

"Mona? How? I-I watched you die.."

"Well you're right, Max. You did watch me die. But you didn't see me brought back by the paramedics.."

"Mona, you were dead for atleast 10 minutes, there's no..."

"No, Max." she interrupted, "I was only dead for a few moments, or atleast, that's what I was told."

"No, I remember you...it was alteast...I,"

I remembered that time did seem to slow down as she died, time became nothing, a variable easily discarded. I never checked on her afterwards, I only worried about myself. I looked down, away from her face, now noticing she was bandaged up.

"The bullet grazed my lung, my body shutdown after going into shock." She began walking towards me, limping actually, my hands were trembling. She fell into my arms as she reached my bed, it must've taken all the strength she had to get to me. Her lips met my own, a fire burned inside my chest, rekindling the feelings for eachother almost immediately. I didn't care anymore, that is, now that she's alive and in my arms again. With my lips pressed against hers, nothing else really seemed to matter. For this moment, I felt free again, young again...happy again. This was a moment that wouldn't last, nothing good ever lasted long, not in my life atleast.

Mona left soon after our reconciliation, she knew the police would be taking her in as soon as she healed. She wouldn't take that chance. It's been a week or so, I haven't heard anything from her. The police were supposed to be questioning me today.. about Vlad, about the Cleaners, about Vinnie Gognitti, about Mona. I heard a knock on the door frame, my eyes drifted up towards the officer now standing in the doorway. Officer Jones, one of the others that arrived first on the scene.

"Detective Payne?"

"Yes?"

"Would you mind if I asked you a few questions?", He asked while approaching my bed. I sighed heavily, ready to explain myself.

"Go ahead."

"What took place at Alfred Woden's mansion last week?"

I shook my head.

"Long story."

"I have time."

"Yeah? That's what they all say. Well, I'll just start from the beginning. It started with a report of fired gunshots over the police radio.."

I began telling the story, taking my time, he took notes in his note-pad, making sure he would get the facts straight. Halfway through the story I knew I wouldn't get out of this without jail atleast being mentioned. At the end of the story, he spoke up.

"And what about Sax?"

"She's...", I thought it over. Did I really want to put her in danger again? Would I let just conquer love? "...gone.", Which wasn't exactly a lie, it was the truth. She is gone, as far as I know. After I thought about my answer, I looked up to meet Officer Jones' eyes. He stared solemnly at me, disbelieving, but only for a moment.

"Well I'm going to go down to the station and tell them your story. I appreciate your cooperation, I'll remind them of your willingness.", he half smiled, not at all sincere.

"Have a nice day, Detective."

"You too."


	3. Snap

Max Payne- Chapter 2: Snap

The ominous feeling in my gut had returned, this day wouldn't end well, and if it did, it would be a pleasant surprise. I was almost ready to give up, to just turn myself in and end this cycle of pain and suffering that I started years ago.

After only a few moments of sitting in peace, a nurse, an attractive one at that, entered the room. She gave a warm and compassionate smile, and walked straight over to me.

"Well, it's good to see you're feeling better, Detective. Sleep well?"

"Hardly..."

"What's that?"

"I said, "Just great"."

"Oh, alright, would you like to watch some TV?"

She reached for the remote, and the TV chimed to life, the image dark at first. I knew that I wasn't in the mood for this, not for anything right now.

"No, no...That's alri...", I managed to get those words out before I heard the reporter speaking on the television.

"Fugitive murder suspect, Mona Sax, was found today, hiding out in an old warehouse on 114th Street and Maple Pines Boulevard. She was quickly taken into custody. When she seemed to be giving up, she struggled free from the hold of the Officer, and took his gun from his holster. The team of police that were there took swift and drastic action and opened fire on her immediately. She was shot dead. No officer was harmed in the shooting. Mona Sax, dead at 32. In other news..."

My mouth sat there, hanging open, I must have seemed like a fool, but what did I care? I could feel my jaw dropping halfway through, I knew that she was dead as soon as she took the gun. I...she's dead. She's not coming back this time... I felt the pain of tears stinging at the corners of my eyes, this was too much. First my wife and daughter, now Mona? The bullet moved to the center of my brain, releasing it's deadly venom into my thoughts. It exploded, brain matter all over the room, my eyes rolling to the back of my head.

"Well, I'm glad she's gone. I heard that she killed over 50 people! She..."

My brain snapped in two.

"...was nothing but a menace to society. She would have killed me if she had the chance, I'm sure!"

I felt my body collapse beneath it's own weight, knees giving in, crumbling into my chest.

"Oh, didn't you know her Detective? Must of been some run in! No doubt she put you in here..."

I came to reality again, my eyes focusing on the nurse.

"Excuse me, for a moment." I said, standing up from the bed, also hearing her turn off the TV with the press of a button. I stepped out of the room for a moment, seeing a police officer standing outside my room. I poked him in the shoulder lightly, trying to get his attention.

"Excuse me, officer?", I said harshly. My voice growing hoarse and painful.

"Yes, Detective? Whoa...are you alright?"

"Yes...I'm fine. But, you're not." My right hand balled into a fist, swinging swiftly and connecting with the officer's face. He went down like a sack of potatoes, nothing but dead weight. I quickly crouched down and removed the pistol he had inside his holster. I reached into his pockets, taking any clips he had, and the keys to his car. I held the gun up in the air, and everyone in the hallway automatically ducked and ran and began screaming in panic. I returned to my room.

"Mr. Payne, what's going o..."

She immediately backed away when she saw the gun pointed at her. She had no reason to worry, though, I wasn't going to kill her.

"Get out."

She did as she was told, leaving the room quickly and running down the hall. I went over to my roommate's bed, Jim Bravura, Lieutenant Chief James Bravura. He had been the lead officer on Mona's trail. It's his fault that all of this happened, he could have stopped it, he could have done...something.

"Jim...you could have stopped all this. You just wanted to save yourself, huh? You really managed to survive dozens of bullets to the chest, you fight to live, why? Well Jim, no more fighting, no need. You're done.", I placed the mouth of the pistol to his temple. "Survive this." I pulled the trigger, his monitor now showing his pulse flatlining.

More screams could be heard, but I didn't stick around for someone to do something about it. I ran from the hospital room, throwing on my trench coat. People automatically scattering out of my way, I was almost on the top floor. I ran for the elevators down the hall, my finger smashing into the button with impatience. Sweat began rolling down my cheeks...what had I done? The elevator doors opened, I almost entered, but I soon realized that the elevator was not unoccupied. I looked up to see to policemen inside the elevator, my heart stopped almost. They must've gotten the call, as all of the other elevator doors began opening up with more policemen stepping out. I bit down on my lip, and dove towards the ones in the elevator in front of me. My gun fired off two shots, taking both down before they could draw theirs, and landing inside the elevator. I pressed the 1st floor button, the other policemen began rushing down the hall to get to me, but as soon as I saw a blue uniform flash before my eyes, the doors closed. Safe for now, and not a scratch. I picked up one of the guns that now lay on the floor, he wouldn't need it anymore.

"Fuck! He got away. Alright boys, let's take the stairs, it's quicker. Let's move!" The squad of officers began filing quickly down the hall into the stairway that led all the way to the bottom of the hospital, if I was lucky, I would be able to reach the bottom before they could get to me.

The elevator doors flew open and I ran out into the lobby, through all of the sick people waiting to be seen by the doctors. No signs of cops yet, but as I turn the corner to the front doors, the squad from upstairs bursts out of the stairwell and began aiming at me. Morons, innocent people are going to get hurt. I ran faster, out the front door in a flash, I didn't want anyone to get hurt that didn't deserve it. They were smart than I thought, because as soon as reached the doors and everything was clear, they opened fire. Time seemed to slow down, bullets rushing past my head. I felt invincible, unable to be stopped by anyone. That is...until a bullet went tearing through my arm. I didn't feel it. Adrenaline. I dove to the outside, it was cold, raining, and unforgiving outside. Just as how I had left it not too long ago. I pulled the keys out of my pocket, quickly looking at the number carved into the end of it. "147252". It was the number to the officer's car. I looked around, not being able to see it, bullets still flying at me. I stopped and turned to them, diving backwards, letting out a barrage of bullets from my pistols. It was a group of 7 cops, and I took out 3, injured 2, and the other 2 left unscathed. A bullet pierced my side, but the pain was minimal, seemingly dull. I lay down on the ground, guns pointed at the officers, waiting for the next move.

"Drop your weapons, throw them away, and put your hands behind your head!...Hey! I won't ask you again!"

I rolled backwards through mud, bullets fired at my feet, and I sat upright onto my knees and fired one bullet from each gun. One went through the left officer's throat, the other went through the second officer's knee. They fell to ground, the one who had been shot in throat was now flopping around like a fish out of water, he was suffering. I stood up, mud now dampening my clothing, I pressed forward to the feet of the suffering officer.

"I'm sorry it had to be this way." I held my gun up and pulled the trigger, the bullet piercing the officer's skull.

I ran in the opposite direction, like I had been doing previously, searching deviantly for the car that I needed. And there it was, sitting right next to a beat up van. I ran even faster when I spotted it, my hand already holding out the keys in anticipation. When I reached the car, I pushed the key in and twisted, pulling the door open and sliding inside. I was soaked from the rain and mud, nothing I could do about that. I shook my head about like a dog would after stepping in from a storm or after a bath. I stuck the keys into the ignition, turned and listened to the car roar with victory. I backed out slowly, and pulled out of the parking lot on towards the scene of Mona's death, where I was sure they still were. I pulled out onto the highway, leaving death behind to finish his dirty work.


	4. Bloody Revenge

Max Payne- Chapter 3: Bloody Revenge

I adjusted the rearview mirror, seeing myself for the first time in weeks. I was horrible to look at, and even worse now that I've gone through all of this. I placed my hand back onto the steering wheel along side my left hand. I had killed those officers, I had ruined family's, friends...I've ruined lives in spite of Mona's death. I've ruined Jim Bravura's life...he didn't deserve it, he was only doing his job. None of them deserved this, but as soon as I was done with these...bastards that killed Mona, I'll turn myself in. Avenging her death is all I have reason to go on...I have nothing left. I'm only a few blocks away from the scene, and I was ready to end this. I really didn't care anymore, as long as they died, I would be able to atleast live with myself again. A few blocks later, I turned the corner seeing a mass of cars in the middle of the street, all surrounding a single body.

I immediately put my foot on the gas, many officers scattering out of the way, clipping a few. But one was unfortunate enough to be hit square in the chest, and driven/pinned between two cars. He fell lifeless onto the hood of my squad car. I pushed the door open, the back window being shot out as I did so. I turned to the group of policemen, guns held up high.

"YOU KILLED HER!" I pulled the trigger, time slowing down again, the bullet catching one of the cops in the chest. "BASTARDS!", another pull of the trigger had the bullet flying into the forehead of another cop. "EVERY ONE OF YOU DESERVE THIS!" , both triggers pulled in rapid fire succession took down 4 other cops. Only 3 remained. My guns had run out of ammo. I dropped their clips, and filled both of them back up with new clips, shot once in the leg as I did so. They were all standing in a row, I took out the one on the left, and the one the right, and stopping with both pistols pointed to the man in the middle. He had his gun pointed at me, the one man that was able to dodge my bullets. I recognized him...Officer Jones.

"Who killed her?" My guns were still held high, aimed right at his eyes. I was ready to explode when I realized that he was one of the cops on the scene, that he may have been involved in her death.

"It wasn't me. She stole my gun when I was taking her to the car. This wasn't my fault, Max."

I stepped towards him, aiming the gun at his gun and shot it out of his hand. He screeched in surprise, unsuspectful of my next move. I threw my guns down and approached him hastily. I threw a punch at his chest, knocking the wind out of him, then an uppercut to his chin, knocking him to his back. He lay there, dazed and confused as to what just happened. I crouched down over him, and began hitting him across the face as hard as possible. His forehead split open after only a few heavy punches, the blood flowing into his eyes. As I was about to hit him once more, he thrusted his leg upward, hitting me where it hurt. I doubled over immediately, the pain was so immense that I threw up on the ground, unable to control myself. He stood up, whiping blood from his face, and pulled me to my feet. He hit me as hard as he could across the face, I almost passed out. He grabbed me around the waste and tackled me into the windshield of a nearby squad car. He rolled off me, and I rolled off of the windshield and onto the ground. I was beaten, I was done. I landed next to Mona's body, I slowly reached my hands out and grabbed her arm, slowly pulling it towards me. I placed my lips to her hand, dropping it soon after. Officer Jones picked me up once more, a cigarette now in his mouth. He turned me around and pushed me up against the car, he cuffed me without a second thought.

He grabbed me by the scruff of my collar, opening his back car door, shoving me inside, the door closing in after me. I lay there against the cold leather, soaking with blood, sweat, tears, and rain. The pain of the gunshot wounds began to come to, numbing my body into submission. Officer Jones sat down in the front seat, picking up the radio and speaking into it. I couldn't make out what he was saying, his voice began to fade, as did my surroundings. Everything began turning to black, turning to meaningless little whispers of death. Cuts of solitude, an embrace of silence. Muffled, evil speech all around me. I couldn't move, I couldn't think straight...I was left in the back of nowhere, to die and whither away. I became nothing.

...I faded to black...


	5. A Second Chance To Fail

Max Payne- Chapter 4: A Second Chance To Fail

The world that I knew left me, I was a stranger on a dark path to destruction. I had killed them, all those officers in the name of love...how could I do this? Why would such a thing drive me to this point of rage? It didn't matter now, I couldn't feel anything, I felt dead, I hoped that I was..for a very long time I've hoped someone would just end it for me. I have been given the opportunity more than once, but I never accept it, even though I ask for it. It's a subconscious thing, I suppose...

I was out of joint, not thinking straight, no rational thoughts crossing my mind. I couldn't break away from it. I squeezed my eyes closed tighter, hoping that I wouldn't have to face the destruction I caused. My body felt cold...not wet, not bruised or bloody, but cold now. The radio Officer Jones was speaking into no longer chimed into my brain, all I could hear was someone breathing and distant sirens.

I opened my eyes to something I couldn't believe.

"God...I turned out to be such a damsel in distress..."

...It was Mona, still alive, at the exact point that she died. I saw her life fade away before my eyes once more. This had happened before...I knew I wasn't hallucinating, this was real, it had to be. I felt her body go cold, and I rose to my feet as she did so. I looked around, the bullet still lodged into my head, bullet wounds in the chest...I pushed on my stomach and I collapsed in pain. I sat, unable to rise again, pain overcoming my abdomen. I couldn't help but breathe quickly, my heart racing. What did this all mean? How is it that I'm back here? Have...I been given a second chance? A second chance to make things right?

The police arrived on cue, but I wasn't quiet about my being here, this time. I would fix this.

"Hey! Back here! I need a medic!"

"Detective Payne! You're alive! Oh my god, guys, Payne is..."

"Just get a fucking medic in here, NOW!"

"Al-alright! Medic! Let's hurry it up!"

She would come back, and I would make sure nothing happened to her. I wouldn't leave her, I wouldn't abandon her. I wouldn't let her rot...I won't let her die. The medics came running through, stepping over bodies and crunching their boots on the glass and bullets. They arrived and I hurried them over to Mona.

"Please, her body went into shock and it just shut down! Do SOMETHING!"

The medic placed his ear next her mouth, checking if she was breathing. Then he checked her pulse, soon after placing one hand on her nose and the other to hold the mouth open, placing his lips to hers, he breathed into her, vital life. He retracted from her face and placed the palms of his hands over her heart, and counted at every thrust. 1, 2, 3. Still no pulse. He breathed life into her again, then thrusting his palms against her chest once more. 1, 2, 3. No...she couldn't be dead. The medic tried one last time, breathing into her, thrust his hands against her chest, checking her pulse...it was gone, she was gone. The medic looked at his watch, and over to one of the other medics.

"Estimated time of death..."

"NO!" I interrupted, shoving the medic aside before he could declare, officially, her death. I rolled up my sleeves and pressed my lips to hers, figuring that by me doing it, it would be different. It would have meaning. I breathed into her, and began thrust at her chest like the medic did. No pulse...

"Mona? Come on, MONA! FIGHT!" I slapped her across the face, her lifeless body not reacting. "Don't die on me...you helped me..."

The medics had to pry me away from her, I was unable to understand what happened. I thought it would work, I thought I could save her...but just by me being there, I sentenced her to death. No matter what I did, she would have died. I whiped my eyes, tears staining my cheeks, as Officer Holloway led me to his squad car. I couldn't speak...I felt as if someone had torn out my vocal chords and stabbed me in the heart. It was unspeakable pain, pain that I probably deserved. I sat down in the car, my legs sticking out the side. I reached into my coat, I need painkillers, I needed something. It didn't matter what. To my "fortune", I found a few left. I popped them in my mouth and began chewing them, the taste was horrid.

"Detective Payne...How, how are you still alive?" It was Officer Jones...the man that had taken me in before, but that never happened now, I guess.

I knew the answer. But I wasn't as upbeat about the situation as I had been before, I fell back down to the pits of my soul.

"Just...just take me home."

"Detective Payne, I really think that you should get to a hos.."

"No. Take me home, I need to sleep...in my own damn bed."

"Al-alright. I'll take you home."

I moved my legs into the car, Officer Holloway closing it after me. I slumped down into the seat, it was just like before, except I wasn't in custody...I was free. But the cost was too great to bare. I closed my eyes, trying to drift off into the world that constantly welcomed me with open arms.

I had been given a second chance...a second chance...to fail.

The world was twisted and bleak, I felt that old feeling coming on, a feeling all too familiar. I was lying in bed, no one apparently in the room. But as I sat up, my wife appeared, a warm smile on her face. She always did have a beautiful smile. She was holding my baby daughter, just as beautiful as she was the day she was born. The room began filling up with other familiar faces. Vlad, Jim Bravura, Winterson, Nicole Horn, Vinnie Gognitti, Alfred Woden...and Mona. They were all smiling, as if they were happy to be even in the same room as me. I gave a slight smirk back, but it soon faded as everyone pulled out some type of gun from behind them. All pointed at me.

"Max, you killed me. How could you?" said Winterson, cocking her pistol.

"You should have minded your own damn business, but now I have to do what I have to do." said Horn, inserting a clip into her Ingram.

"I helped you...and this is how you repay me?" said Vinnie, holding up a Sawed-off shotgun.

"You didn't even try to help me, Payne. After everything I've done for you." said Alfred Woden, holding up a M4 Carbine.

"Max, dearest of all my friends...I wanted to be the hero. Why couldn't you let me be?" said Vlad, holding up a Kalishnikov AK47.

"Stay with the badge, Payne...that's all I ever asked..." said Jim Bravura as he withdrew MP5.

A slight pause from the group, then Mona came forth, her eyes lighting up with the sunlight outside.

"Max..." said Mona as she reached for her Desert Eagle, "love is a thing I hardly have ever felt. My whole life was tainted with hate, pain...something I thought you could really, genuinely understand. I loved that about you Max. I loved that no matter how much either of us went through, how far we drifted apart, how hateful or aweful we were to eachother...that in the end, we always came back to the middle. We always came back to meet once again."

Dream Mona seemed like more of a poet than anything else, a poet with a broken heart. The weather outside became darker, and gloomier as her speech pressed on, only making her disdain increasingly imminent.

"...I didn't know where to turn so many times. Should I go back home? Should I keep running? No matter the trouble, my mind always came to you. It came to you because I knew you were the kind of person I could count on helping me. I thought you were the greatest thing to happen to me...I suppose I was wrong. I couldn't count on you then, and I still can't now. You would think that you would learn from all of this, Max. From all the "payne" that you have caused the world. Your wife and child die, you avenge them by destroying a criminal empire, and they rest in peace. All is well, all is finished. ...Why don't you quit, Max? Why continue being a cop? Because of it, it's brought nothing but more to you and others suffering. Vinnie, Bravura, Winterson, Vlad. ...Me..."

I saw a single tear roll down her pale cheeks, her face twisted into agonizing sorrow. Something I hadn't seen since my wife had been murdered. Lightning struck outside, soon after followed by thunder.

"I try and help you, but you do nothing but shun me, push me away. I give all I have to give, I help you, I save your life...hell, Max, you made me fall in love with you! You've ruined my life and countless others...you've destroyed what was left of justice. You don't deserve what I have to give."

She held up her Desert Eagle, the barrel aimed dangerously at my forehead. She began crying, causing her arm to weaken.

"You don't even deserve to die, to be relieved of your anguish. You don't deserve this bullet."

And at that, they all left, Mona standing there by herself now. She gave me one final look in the eye, her eyes glassing over with more tears, and she went out through the doorway. I placed my hand over my eyes, massaging the part of my nose right in between my eyes. Then...I felt a tear splash on my shirt. No...not a tear. Then I felt more, it started coming down on me hard...not tears. Too fast, too many.

"Rain"


	6. Slices of Redemption, Flames of Freedom

Max Payne- Chapter 5: Slices of Redemption, Flames of Freedom

"Payne, wake up. We're at your house."

The words revitalized me, made me re-awaken to the world that had taken everything. The rain was coming in through the open door, my face was soaked. I sat up, my ribs crackling as I pushed myself up from the seat. I stepped out of the car, my knees almost buckling under my weight. I started heading towards the door of my apartment, Officer Jones quickly coming to my aid.

"Max, do you want me to take you up?"

"Go home, Bill." I said, pausing for a moment as he tried to help me.

"But..."

"I said, GO HOME!" I shoved him backwards, he was less than grateful.

"Fine, have it your way...asshole", he muttered that last little part under his breath, or atleast he thought he did.

As the car pulled away, I entered the building, shuffling my dead-weight body towards the elevator, leaning my elbow into the "UP" button. The door opened immediately, apparently not used for some time now. I practically threw myself into the elevator, pressing the "3" on the panel of buttons. I supported my body by holding onto the bar inside, without it I would have fallen then and there.

What did my dream mean? Only I could answer that, dreams mean what you think they mean. It meant exactly what Mona said. I've fucked up countless numbers of lives, and this is my way of paying for it. The elevator doors flew open, my apartment down the hall. It took me a few moments before reaching the door, which had been left unlocked due to the need of a hasteful leaving. I twisted the handle and threw open the door, entering, and shutting it quickly behind me. I locked it, not wanting anyone to help me, to stop me. I walked through the short hallway to my chair in the living room, throwing off my trench coat.

A half empty bottle of vodka lay open on my coffee table, left there from earlier. I plopped myself down into my recliner, reaching for the bottle. I drank a few gulps, it went down fast, tasted as sweet as honey going down. The words of those that had died flashed into my mind.

"You're a real angel, Max."

"Max, dearest of all my friends..."

"Stick to the badge."

"Stay out of my way, Payne."

"Help me, Payne!"

"Help me..."

"HELP ME!"

"MAX!"

I was done. I had said this since the day my wife died, but this time was for real. I was finished, never to pick up the badge again. I was not the person I thought I'd turn out to be, not the person I wanted to turn out to be. I picked up the badge from the table, I lied to myself, I did pick up the badge again. But...just this last time.

I pulled back my white sleeves, undoing the buttons on the cuffs. I placed the edge of the badge to my wrist. There was nothing for me, everyone and anyone that ever cared has died because of me. Why keep fighting? For the sake of others? No...the others could fend for themselves from now on. From now on...they need rely on no one other than themselves. I threw the bottle of vodka at the ground, spattering the liquid over everything. I pulled out my lighter from my pocket, back from when I smoked. I flipped it open, throwing it to the ground. The ground blazed into existence, as the fire began eating away at the floorboards, curtains, and everything else. My eyes came back to the badge, placed firmly over my wrist. I would pay for what I had done to the others...I would show them that I did care, that I do care. My life is nothing but a tidalwave, short and destructive. I applied pressure to the badge, cutting into my wrist. I pressed harder, and harder, and harder on it. Slashing it down all the way to the elbow. Cutting through tendon, cutting so deep I could feel it rubbing up against the other side. I removed it, and switched the badge into the other hand and did the same to my left arm. I felt woozy. I felt broken, and I felt like there was nothing left.

The flames tickled my feet. Licking at my skin to feed it, to appease the beast's hunger of flesh and bone. There would be no trace, there would be nothing left.

I, Max Payne, would be remembered as no one. Nothing important, the one thing that kept this world from progressing. The one thing that destroyed more than fixed. The one thing that...didn't matter anymore.

All my anxiety, all my pain, all my hate, all my resentment, all my worries, all my thoughts, all my dreams, all of my life...would be relieved of duty, taken away from this earth. Hell was only a few inches away, the flames just taking me that much closer. The hell that I created. The blood in my body flowed onto the floor, dripping into the fire. My eyes rolled to the back my head, all I could see was darkness. An embracing, loving darkness to sweep me away off into a land of beyond and enchantment. A place most people dreaded to talk of. Death was my escape. All I had was selfishly taken from me, by myself.

I didn't deserve to live.

I was nothing.

I did nothing in my life, I left nothing but ruins behind on my dark path.

Today was sunday...a dark, black sunday.

Here I come to kiss you, sweet death. I've heard about how good you are.

Let the flames turn me to cinders, burn my life into the air, leaving behind what is no longer there.

Ashes.

Take my soul, for while I must die and go with you, my desolate body must remain here.

Take me.

Release me.

Free me.

Please...

No. More.

...I faded to black...

This time, hopefully, for good.


	7. A Fair Trade

Max Payne- Chapter 6: A Fair Trade

The pain had fled, the blood dried and browned. My body turned to ash, my apartment along with me. The NYPD already on the scene, investigating what was left, evidence of what transpired. Total destruction, nothing left in my wake. To their dismay...this was something they could not fix...

Heavy breathing. My eyes shot open to see the surroundings changed. Not in my apartment or at the station, but at Woden's mansion. I fell back against a wall, my mouth dry, lacking words or reason.

"Alive?" I thought to myself, "How is that possible? I left myself for death...there was no way I could have been saved..."

"Max?" a voice said nearby, "Are you alright?"

Mona. She...she was alive.

"What the hell...what's going on?"

"You were knocked out cold. Don't you remember?"

Her words faded, my mind flashed back to the moment she spoke of.

I ran out of the building and ended up on the balcony across from Mona, some of Vlad's men shooting at her. I withdrew my pistol and fired, bullets flying, none connecting. They turned to me and opened fire, I quickly dived to the side firing my pistols at them and successfully putting a bullet into each of their heads. After landing on my side, I stood up to help out Mona with whatever assistance she may have needed. Before I could do anything, a sharp pain across the back of my head. Pistol-whipped, I hazed in and out watching the henchman aiming his gun at me. Everything went dark.

I snapped back to reality, looking Mona in her angelic blue eyes. It was all a dream...I should of known. A second chance? Going crazy and killing everyone? I should have known that I was asleep. It all seems too clear now. My eyes have been opened. I extended my arm, reaching for Mona's face, rubbing my open hand upon her delicate skin.

"Mona, I thought I lost you."

"Max...what are you..?"

I leaned in, my lips connecting with hers, cutting her off mid-sentence. I was too happy to be upset, I thought she was gone, I thought I was gone. She stood the shocked for a moment, but gave in, her mouth just as passionate as my own. Arms wrapping around her, embracing her and inhaling her sweet smell. I missed this. She pulled away from me, her face flushed and red.

"As much as I appreciated that, we don't have time. We...Why did you do that?"

I took her hand in my own, holding it gently to feel it's warmth.

"I did it because I...because I was happy to see you alive."

"Of course I'm alive, Max...that blow to the head must of messed with your head."

"Yeah..."

I wrapped my arms around again, holding her tightly. I figured out what my dreams meant. What everything meant. The dream helped me to see what was to happen tonight. I squeezed her tighter, running my fingers through her hair. I kissed her once more, knowing this would be the last time.

I parted from her, standing next to the door that led into the main part of the mansion. I knew what was going to happen, the doors were locked.

"The doors are locked, Mona."

"Here."

Mona walked over to one of the gargoyle statues that rested upon the side of the door entrance, pulling down it's arm, the doors now opening. The story was playing out just as it had before. She rushed in before me, and I followed in after her. She was walking quickly, as if she were trying to get away. I played along, only to have the story unfold as it had before.

"Mona, wait. Stop."

She stopped immediately, I walked ahead of her to look around for a second, only to feel the crack of a Desert Eagle across my face. I crumbled to the floor, my face in pain as it was before. This is love. Love hurts. I turned to Mona, my eyes blistering with knowing. She pointed the gun at me.

"Damnit, Max. I told you not to come here. This is my battle."

Her finger seemed uneasy on the trigger, as if she was going to pull it at any second. She lifted the gun away, the barrel now facing the ceiling.

"See. I can't do it. You're a bastard, Max."

As she said the words that I had expected, a shadowy figure appeared behind her. Vlad. My eyes blazed with hatred. I felt the hate rise in me, a festering pile of tragedy. As soon as I saw his gun appear from beneath the shadows, I stood up, jolting upward. Words from my dreams came back to me as I ran forward.

"There are NO happy endings!"

I threw Mona out of the way.

"You don't even deserve this bullet."

Vlad fired his gun in the place Mona had been standing.

"Estimated time of death..."

The bullet came towards me.

"You made me fall in love with you."

The bullet went through my chest. Through my heart. It made a hole you could see straight through. Vlad began laughing, the damn Russian always laughed at someone elses agony. The bullet didn't stop me, I kept going. Vlad soon stopped laughing as he saw me coming towards him. Mona gasped, seeing the blood trickling from my bullet wound.

"No! How..."

I continued forward, blood spilling on the floor. Vlad pulled the trigger, the bullet going straight through my right leg. I didn't feel it. He pulled the trigger two more times, one through the lungs, the other through the stomache.

"How are you doing this!"

I came up to him, my pistol withdrawn and pointed at him. I placed the pistol to his stomache.

"No more."

I pulled the trigger, his eyes widening with twisted death. I unloaded the entire clip into him before pulling the gun away. He fell dead after only a few shots, but I held him up until I was satisfied. After his body dropped, I turned to see Mona now standing a few feet behind me, not believing what she had just witnessed. I began walking towards her, but then, I fell. I couldn't get back up, the pain had finally come to, inside my body. I felt my stomache, my lung, and my leg...but not my heart. I didn't feel the pain that had been shot through my heart yet. Mona ran to me and crouched down next to me. Tears were streaming down her face, her eyes violent with heart-wrenching awe and love.

"Max...Max you bastard." She whiped a tear from her cheek. "Don't you die...I need you."

"You don't need me, Mona. Everything will be al-alright." I felt blood pooling around me.

"I want you to know, that you helped me. Th-thank you for that."

She stopped a moment, trying to control her sobs.

"Max, I..."

"I love you, Mona. I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you. But now, you don't need to feel pain anymore. There's no one left to hurt you."

I closed my eyes for a moment. The pain in my heart now coming to realization. I opened them soon after Mona shook me. I mumbled something incoherent to Mona, who could barely talk without a tear escaping.

"What?"

I smiled.

"I said..."God...I turned out to be such a damsel in distress." "

"What are you talking..."

"That...that's what you said to me in my dream, right before you died."

I sighed, looking into those blue eyes.

"Don't forget me, Mona."

"No...NO!''

The life in me faded, my eyes closing, body going limp. I lay there in a torn woman's arms, the only woman I ever cared about. I left her there. But she will be alright. She doesn't need me. She never did. As long as she's alright...as long as I know she's okay...I can rest. Finally...I can rest.

That night, Mona had a dream of me, I'm dead...but it's alright.


	8. Epilogue

Max Payne - Epilogue: Starting Over

When you think nothing can go wrong, everything falls apart.

Your life can shatter in an instant...amazing how that's possible.

You change by a bullet, cuts, bruises, and sometimes by carefully chosen words.

And once your life becomes broken, you fall down that hole that took you so long to climb out of.

Once you climb out, you only have a few moments before you're pushed right back down the abyss.

Like a record skipping on the needle, it's continuous and forever.

Unless you pick it up, and start from the beginning, you'll be forced to hear the skipping beat.

After awhile, you stay in the hole, just to ask yourself, "How did I get here?".

You sit there and wonder, for hours, but the answer is so simple, it's right in front of your eyes.

Once you realize, the realization hits you like a lightning bolt, reviving your life, your motivation.

This time, you climb out, determined to not fall back down.

You come up, the light is like a reawakening to your dulled senses.

You turn to the hole, and cover your past.

Burying your mistakes, heartbreak and sorrow...

You start over.

-The End-


End file.
